Please, let me fuck your mom
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
