My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
