we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
