The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
are you so shy because you have an std?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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