i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
