where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize