he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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