i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
