How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
