He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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