weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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