does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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