she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
