Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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