I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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