I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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