That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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