my mouth tastes like poor choices
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
