similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
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The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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