who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize