Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.

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(303): View more from Colorado

No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.

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(417): View more from Missouri

My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.

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(419): View more from Ohio

we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit

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(941): View more from Florida

When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?

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(208): View more from Idaho

I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?

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(425): View more from Washington

If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.

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