Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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