i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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