hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
