you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
