Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
