i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
