omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
