For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
pop tarts are not kleenex
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
