just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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