We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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