Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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