so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
