you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
