That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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