They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Dear god my vagina.
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