I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
