You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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