Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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