its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
