All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
