Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
