fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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