Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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