I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
