We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
