I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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