Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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