hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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