Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
