yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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