O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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