you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize