Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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