I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
