we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
