please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
