Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Watching her eat just hurts me
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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