he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
