that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
