Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
