it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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