Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize