It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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