were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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