the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
