Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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