what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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