I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
