So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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