Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
