It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just googled if crying burns calories
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
