batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
